🥾Stop dreading the descent

Hike all day.
Summit still smiling.

Legs gone halfway up. Lungs burning on the climbs. Knees shot on the way down.

We fix all three — in 12 weeks.

Get my 12-week plan — £59

Built by an exercise physiologist · 30-day money-back guarantee

Refunds issued so far: 0

30-day money-back guarantee

Built by an exercise physiologist

Not a faceless app — meet me below

What it is

Your pocket hiking coach

The Alpines is a 12-week training programme that lives in an app on your phone. It turns regular humans into the kind of people who hike all day and summit without wanting to die.

Making it up the Tube stairs without needing a lie-down? Bagging your first Munro? A week hut-to-hut in the Alps? We get you there.

  1. 1

    Get the plan

    £59 one-time. 12 weeks, 3–5 sessions a week. 30-day guarantee.

  2. 2

    Start training

    Open the app and follow along — every session planned for you.

  3. 3

    Get stupidly fit

    Show up stronger — all day, summit and back.

What you actually get

🧠

Zero thinking required

Every workout planned, every rep counted — written by a personal trainer who actually hikes, not a robot who thinks burpees are fun. Just show up and do what the app says.

📈

Measurably stronger in 30 days

Workouts progress every 5 weeks so you don't plateau, and the app tracks every session. Not stronger in 30 days? Full refund.

🙋

A real human in your corner

Stuck on an exercise? Ask the coach directly in the app and a real person replies. Revolutionary, we know.

The method

What actually changes

Four things that separate the “let’s turn back” people from the “let’s push to the top” people. We train all four.

🦵

Legs that don't quit

Your legs currently have a turn-back point. We move it past the summit — and get you down the other side without your knees filing a complaint.

🫁

Lungs for the steep bits

That gasping, stopping-every-50-metres feeling on the climb? Gone. Keep a conversation going while your friends gulp for air.

🎒

Pack mule engaged

Full day pack, water, questionable amount of snacks. Your back won't break and your shoulders won't scream. Pack mule mode: activated.

♨️

Bounce back fast

A big day shouldn't cost you the rest of the week. Recovery protocols that mean tomorrow doesn't feel like death — and you can still walk down the stairs.